OK. So picture this, it is 8.05pm, one has been doing swim squad and is driving the Golf home to aflatofonesown so one can have dinner post haste because nothing builds up an appetite like swimming.
One goes to turn into one's driveway and is blocked by a black Mazda SUV. Outraged, one sits in the middle of the street honking the horn expecting some schmuck to come running out of the Pizza shop or the Deli....
Nothing
One parks (legally) on the street, writes a quick note (stating: In future, please DO NOT park across our driveway) and proceeds upstairs hoping for inspiration...
Its now 8.10pm, illegal car still parked. One is hungry, the kind of hungry that resorts to opening a packet of Cheetos and eating them all. Luckily aflatofonesown is a Cheetos free zone (not that one doesn't occasionally pick a small packet up at the supermarket of a Saturday). One decides hunger must be abated before any inspiration can strike.
One makes delicious gourmet tuna sandwich complete with capers, capsicum, tomatoes, capers, Serena Tuna in Oil with chili and leaves that have been washed, salted and had a little squeeze of lemon spritzed on them. Delectable.
OK, its time for inspiration.....
One is becoming a Ranger, one collects camera, heads downstairs (whilst on the phone to the SO) and takes photos. Yes one will send these pictures with a Stat Dec to the Ranger and he will issue a fine! Brilliant
One stomps back upstairs, he he he, one is on fire, FIRE people.
Then, one thinks, what about calling the Ranger now? One hops on the Internet, terrific, one gets through, provides registration details to lovely Town Night Operator Lady who alerts ranger.
Time is 8.47
One decides, one must blog immediately.
9.09pm: One is sitting on One's couch jumping at every noise on the street, ready to shout out to the rude illegal parking people.
9.10pm: One is sitting on One's couch developing dialogue. 'Excuse me, yes you Mazda driver, I'm up here, yes. Hi, Please do not park across our driveway. Its actually really rude. What if someone needed to get a car out?'
9.11pm: One is sitting on One's couch (mmm it is a comfy couch) thinking about taking another photo.....
9.15pm: One is on One's couch, One is thirsty. Time to boil the kettle.
9.19pm: One's phone is ringing. Its Paul from the Town. Paul is on the job, One is sending through One's photos to the Town. 'Leave it to me says Paul'. Terrific!
9.25pm: search for camera cable continues...
9.37pm: Ooooh 3 people walking up street from restaurant down the street. Walking, walking to car.
One: 'excuse me'
Them: looking around
One: 'up here'
Them: looking up
One: 'Hello, can you please not park across our driveway, no one has been able to get in or out'
Blonde #1: 'Oh sorry'
Blonde #2: 'Yes they can'
One: 'Ummm no your car is parked across our driveway'
Blonde #2: 'They must have a big car'
One: 'There's no need to be rude, you have illegally parked and the Ranger has photos'
OK, recap:
- bad behaviour found: check
- vigilante behavoiur by one: check
- report to the authorities: check
- confront perpetrators: Check Check Check!!
YAY
OOOHHHHH! Love it. Drew the angry resident dishing out vigilante justice. I can just see you sitting in your window waiting for these people to come home (stroking your cats). I am very familiar with the feeling of incandescent rage which you are directing at people who think what they are doing is justifiable (yes, neighbours over the back fence, I am talking about you).
ReplyDeleteNext thing you know, you'll be putting up passive agressive signs in the style of the Rainford St lane pot plant show-down...
ReplyDeletewoops, aggressive has two "g"s...
ReplyDeletemarshie I note your silence on the front neighbours..... "don't you kids know it's 10:30 on a Friday! I'm calling the cops!"
ReplyDeleteWe are all getting old. I found myself getting out of bed and stomping through the front garden to next door to buzz on the neighbour's doorbell at midnight the other night, to complain about his loud TV/music. And I keep wanting to buy a lot of cats.
ReplyDelete